Relational Messages  š  Interpersonal Communication  3/28/02

 

Dominance Messages – Indicate who is in charge

 

™      One Up messages                     Indicate a desire to take control                          deny; disagree; interrupt

™      One Down messages                 Relinquish control; agree; give up floor                agree; give up floor

™      One Across messages               Indicate Equivalence                 

 

Indicate Emotional Tone

Oval: These are not necessarily opposites. “It is possible for someone to be both highly aroused and highly controlled or non aroused and uncomposed"
 


™      Arousal                         Excitement; Boredom                                       

™      Composure                               Indicates self control

 

 

 

Show Similarity

This has an effect on attraction and credibility.  Whether you like it or not, it is the case that we generally only like to associate with those who are like us.  Make the connection here to thinking about “face work” and responding to situations based on how we think others define them.  We show similarity (unconsciously quite often) in order to be attractive to others.  *  At the same time, we often can learn about people’s relationships by examining their “similarity” patterns.  Note how friends or couples talk alike.

 

Oval: Although it would seem that formal episodes would always be task related and Informal episodes would always be socially oriented, this is not always the case. Try to think of examples. Defining Episodes

™      Formal                                      Cultural level rules of conduct

™      Informal                                    More natural conduct

™      Task                                         Sticking to business

™      Social                                       Having Fun

 

 

Indicating Intimacy

This is central to the growth of the relationship.  There are multiple dimensions on which we indicate intimacy

™      Affection/Hostility                     Indicate the love/anger continuum

™      Trust                                        When we open up; willingly putting self in a position to be hurt

™      Depth/Superficiality                   Is indicated through self-disclosure

™      Inclusion/Exclusion                    Indicate a willingness to associate with others (warmth vs. coldness)

™      Intensity of involvement Is indicated by your focus on the other person